Ek mohabbat aisi bhi

Dear Sushant,

Kese ho? Yaha pe likh kar ek esa anubhav ho raha jaise yeh letter aapke pass hi jaega…Aur mere ye gehre jazbato ki pukar hogi jise mene bahot saal pehle daba di thi.

Ye wahi awaz hai jo aap se baat karna chahti thi,
Aur ab ye mere andar hi goonjti hai, cheekti hai,
Haa kabhi shaant si bhi lagti hai, kyunki ye sirf mujhe sunai deti hai.

Mein kabhi apki fan nahi thi,
Kyunki aap mujhe bahoot ache lagte the, aur lagte ho aur ache lagte rahoge,
Haa mein sach kahungi sirf unn khabro ko jankar, ‘ki aap kisi ke sath ho..’

Yeh dil toot jata tha,
Aur mein isse tootne bhi nahi dena chahti thi.

Isliye kabhi koshish nahi kari aap se baat karu,
Yaha tak ki aap ki films bhi dekhne se bachti rehti, ek-do films ke siwa nahi dekhi..

Par yeh toh waqt ki hi baat hai ab aapki films ke alawa koi doosri movies hi nahi dekhna chahti,
Esa nahi ki ab dard zara kam hai,
Ab apne jazbato ko sametna aa gaya hai,
Kabhi hairan bhi ho jati hu, toh kabhi khud se ruth bhi jati hu.

Par kya pata shayad esa hi hona likha ho?
Bahoot vishwas haina mujhe apne bhagwan par.

Shikwa mujhe ek hai, har film me itne gehre kirdar nibhaye kyu?
Chahe woh Ishaan ho ya Manny sabko dekhar bahoot royi hu.

Lagta tha aap bahoot ache insaan ho,
Aur ab yakeen hai mujhe.
Bahoot khushnasib hai woh log jo aapke karib the.

Aaj karib ek saal baad mujhe itna likhne ki himat aayi hai,
Bahoot kuch hua aapke door chale jane ke baad…

Sometimes I seek to God.
I asked the cosmos.
Conversed within.
It calms me at times.

However, there were no nights I didn’t whine.
And days when I smiled with no smiles.
Soon, the acceptance reside.

Brings me the waves of presence,
Opens the door of shut eyes.
As if a hurricane was happening inside,
With contradiction and fights.

Gained back the power.
And saw a ray of light.
Flowing all over.
Like a voyage from pieces to peace.

Zajbaat toh hai mere andar hai bahoot.
Par aaj ye kalam ab yahi rukna chahti hai,
Shayad thodi aur himat jutana chahti hai.

Aap ki kahi shayari yaad aa rahi,

“Agar ilm hota apko humari mohabbat ka, toh apko mujhse nahi khud se mohabbat ho jati.”

I love you a lot, photon🌼
❤🦋♾💫