Dil Bechara – From the eyes of a Jamshedpur girl

The movie that broke my heart..yet again
Almost a year ago, I was looking forward to 7:30 pm to watch my first day first show ever of the movie. I thought I was strong enough, prepared to see him in his last performance. I should have known better even as I saw him strumming guitar to the tune of Main Tumhara Raha.

I smiled at affable Manny throughout, because he tucked at my heart strings and well, I wanted to stay strong. My strength gave way seeing him fall sick and from then on every moment of the remaining movie, my heart felt crumbling down under grief so heavy for a person who was completely unknown to me. Before I knew the distinction between the artist and his art, it had faded. Saying I was left miserable doesn’t do justice to the feeling of being punched in the gut, of being unable to eat for many many days going ahead. I ask myself why I was so overwhelmed..

Was it seeing him in his last movie? Was it seeing him in my lovely city Jamshedpur? Was it a mix of both?
Was it the feeling that he was talking about his life when singing “Khul ke jeene Ka tareeka”? Was it the sight of him walking out of the gates of TMH, the same gates from where I had walked out of once in my late teens feeling triumphant after donating blood to a rare blood group patient? Was it the sight of him driving through the well manicured roads of CH area, Kadma-Sonari Link Road? Was it the sight of him trying to be the goofy adorable one in Jubilee Park singing away Maskhari?

Or was it all the happy and sad memories that my city fills me up with?

I would never know 🙁
Not Seri, Sushant