‘I wonder where you are?
I wonder what you do?
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart?
For I haven’t got a clue
But let me start by saying…
I love you’ – Hello (Lionel Richie)
Dear Sushant 
I guess it’s been a couple of months since I have been inactive. I guess it’s a blessing in disguise yet I feel incapable. I guess by being away I lost the ability to feel you if that makes sense. Since my mind is out of sync with everything. Yet I feel like you will be pleased because I can focus on myself and work my arse off just to make you proud and myself happy. Shayad us hi main mukti paa loon?
The dull ache is subsiding , chal raha hai jaise jaise hawaiyen chal rahi hain. I try to make your prescene alive as much as I can by posting tweets about you or unfinished conversations that I always imagined would take place whenever I’d meet you. Ye gila hai ki since 2016 I was a silent admirer of yours. I thought to commence my journey with your aid and I did.It’s still a long way but jo main hoon aur jo main hona chahti hoon I owe everything to you.
I am not gonna speak what happened on 14th because I can resonate with everyone who are pouring their thoughts out here. What made it worse for me was the facts that were unfolding. It made me feel like I barely knew you at all.
At the same time sukoon bhi mila ki I would be able to adore and irrevocably fall harder for you again from different perspectives.
Is letter ko dukhi nahi karna chahti hoon par jitna thank you bolon utna kam hai.
You atleast ensured jaate jaate to turn this ‘nalayak’ Riyuu itno a slightly ‘sensible’ Riyuu. There is a scene of Jab We Met where Aditya scolds Geet for not keeping in contact with her all these months:
‘Agar main aaj zinda hoon toh woh tumhari wajah se hoon Geet… Main aaj jo bhi hoon sab tumhari wajah se, problem ko face karta to sochta hoon ki agar Geet hoti to woh kya karti’
Same can be applied to you Sushant, literally these dialogues were resounding in my mind during 14th June… YOU were my guide, my remedy whenever I felt down I knew deep down that I could look up to YOU. How I wish I could share with you my adoration? There’s so much to express… Par at the same time I feel like the more I seek you in everyday things the stronger I feel you and the more I can connect with you. Your souvenirs are still here, the SSR Fandom is still the same old it’s just your physical self isn’t present amidst. Ye hum jitna jaldi samajh paaye utna hi sukoon milega 🙂
Last but not least, I would like to thank everyone reading this so far. It makes me feel like a part of myself has resided within you all 🙂 I would just urge you all to let your inner Sushant unfold and just surrender to it.
Ending my letter on one of my favorite couplets :)) :
‘Raat yun dil main teri,
Khoyi hui yaad aayi
Jaise veerane main chupke se bahaar aa jaye
Jaise sehraaon main haule se chale baad e naseem
Jaise beemar ko bewajah karaar aa jate
To infinity and beyond Mr Rajput 🙂
Hope you are exploring dimensions and collating more musings when we all reunite 🙂
Never stopped praying for your happiness and never will :))
(P.S this letter will always be special because today 14th is the day where I finally let you fly)
🖤
12 replies on “Zindagi Dhoop Tum Ghana Saaya”
Beautifully written…
I am glad you loved it Nisha 🙂
💖💖
Thank you so much Tulsi,
Riya here I know I didn’t want to disclose this because I feel like this letter is almost similar to what we all feel.
However just to gain closure I felt like letting you know that this letter is written by me 🙂
Thank you once again
Hello everyone,
This is the author here
Thankoo for showering so much love truly grateful 🙂
You have got beauty in ur heart, Riyu n as I have said before u r so good just the way u r❤ keep working on urself, make him proud, save love for him inside n u will win always ❤🦋
Gulgul i love ya 💛✨
Beautifully written!!!
Thankoo ji 🙂
RIYAAA! This is your friend bluebliss (Emm) from Twitter! We had been chatting off late! i wanted you to know that this piece is something I always come back to when I am distraught or upset. Still seeking closure, and upheavels happen often! Your words have the ability to heal! The ability to make a fantasy real! When I read this, I feel that he’s very much here. Right Here, Right Now! Asoo mein kisike chehre pe muskurahat dalne ke liye- Thank you! For making the impossible, seem like its true, Thank you!
Miss you on Twitter! Just let us know you are doing well! I keep visiting this piece for some solace!
Stay Well Riyu!
You Not-So-Old, Old-soul friend from Twitter! 🙂
OML Emmmm
I remember seeing your screenshot jaana so sorry for getting back to you so late 🥺
How have you been doing love?
Gosh I am speechless Emm, thank you so much for resonating with this piece 🙂
Believe me it’s humbling to know I could convey even a fraction of what you all are feeling 💛
I can’t type coherently lol, came here after such a long time and seeing your message just made my morning lovely once again 🙂
P.S I believe we all have a way of comforting each other, not necessarily by words but gestures mean so much 🥺
I always mean it when I say I am lucky to have been part of this fandom 🌈
I think this is my serotinin boost