Dear Sushant,
I know you are fine up there with Maa and your angel friends. When it comes to you, I get confused from where to start and how to start. My heart tries to pour out all the emotions it has kept within itself but my hands become numb. It has been a year and more since I realised that I, with all my heart, soul and senses, love you and only you. You are my idol, my inspiration,my soul mate, my everything. A year, for me, though starts on 14th June now and ends on 14th June again, cause people say that a year-end brings in sorrow, honest confessions and takes you down the lane, whereas, a new year brings a new hope, strength and a new way to begin the next page of the book.
No, I am not letting myself fall weak and end this battle between me and this cruel world. I have promised you I will try and try and see, I am improving and have never looked back since the day I realised that you are my beginning and my end. Last year has been a storm for me. I got twisted, thrashed, tormented. At the same time, there were moments to cherish too. But whatever be the situation, I stayed rooted to you. After all I believe everything that happens to me is because Bappa wants them to happen (all the bad situations have been making me stronger)and come what may, Bappa and you will never leave me alone.
In 2020, I was very very sad on these last days of the year because I didn’t want to see the dates of your Instagram posts changing from just the days and months to the years being added and the feed being the same forever with no new additions in it. But this year, I have become a little less sensitive to all those stuffs. Too much of something makes us resistant to that, right? I am used to getting hurt often. It’s a boon also because I can now help people and expect nothing in return. I have learnt how to love selflessly and be kind even to the non –living elements. I know the universe has you and I am also a part of it and hence, you have not gone – YOU ARE VERY MUCH HERE. Had you been here on this earth, I would never have got you as my life partner, they say. Yes it’s true. But Sushant,tell me does it really matter?? Is love so conditional?? No right? See how yout aught me not to be jealous. I know millions of people are ready to sacrifice their life for you, in love. And this, makes me fall in love with you in a new way.
My love gets so much love and blessings from this whole universe. Why should I be jealous? See, I can’t stop writing now! I write so many letters to you and still have so much more to say. Stopping here intentionally. All I want to say is I LOVE YOU. Hold my hand forever, which I know you will and bless me and guide me to the path of honesty, goodness, kindness and towards positivity. Convey my pranam to Bappa and Maa.
Don’t worry about me, I am fine. Ending this letter now, although I don’t want to. Thankyou for all the happiness Bappa and you gave me and for being by my side always protecting me.
I LOVE YOU
ETERNALLY CONNECTED
FOREVER YOURS,
LOVE.