An Open Letter to My Inspiring Star

Dearest Sushant,

Its been so many months now. The questions refuse to die down. Each day I and millions tormented by the How’s and the Whys. But somewhere deep within, I know we will get answers. For you are there above, guiding us through this fight for Justice!

I hope your soul is around, listening to what genuine people have to say – hundreds and thousands of them about you – smiling to itself, liberated and peaceful? I really hope so.

I am not a movie buff Sush, hence I had no chance of knowing you. But I feel really sad that I did not.
I had gone alone to the theater to watch MS-Dhoni The Untold Story. And that was all that I knew about you.
Now every song I watch were of yours..I find myself notice your expressions more closely. Going to your social media accounts time and again. Listening to your interviews, reading posts about you, discovering more about you each time!

And I wish I would have discovered that while you were alive..I wish people would have appreciated that rare brilliance in you more! I wish people would have loved your beautiful heart more. I wish..

The way your mind, thinks, fascinates the evolving thinker in me,
The way your heart cares, inspires the expanding heart in me,
I know what an introvert goes through..what a mind that thinks and feels with such depth goes through when it is not valued enough, when it feels frustrated! Definitely not as much as you, but I do.
Sush..your boundless curiosity for what lies beyond our limited perception, for the infinity above, around and within – your love for knowledge, your reverence for Swami Vivekananda, your love for eastern spirituality, astro-physics, astronomy and astrology and much more – all of it tells me that your wisdom was way beyond most others – and that has me rattled..You were a genius. A genius so humble and pure at heart! As your bodyguard said, “Sone ka dil tha unka.”

I wonder what were your last thoughts,
Those last moments of despair, of wanting to save yourself.

And I really really hope you are in a much better place now – one with the Shiva that you revered.
And in your next lifetime, if there is one, you are safe and away from bullying vultures in the form of people and once again rise and shine like a star! And I pray that I come to know you personally..maybe in another time, in another form – in another reality.

I am going to hold your life and your demise close to my heart for a long time. As an inspiration and as a reminder to keep walking with incessant courage.

All of us have to bring about changes at our own levels – in the way we treat others, the way we think and love, our value systems, the kind of movies we choose to watch and the people we vote into power.

Sushant today you are no longer present here..but you will live on in the countless hearts you have touched, in the millions of minds you helped thrive. In the pursuit you have ignited in all of us. And that is proof of the magnificent fighter of a personality that you are. Of your amazing journey that inspires so many young actors and astronomers and seekers! That you are bringing about waves of change even when you are seemingly gone!

You will live in the immense knowledge you have
left behind,
You are immortal my friend. You can never be in the past. There is no was for you.

Let our hearts be as large as yours,
Let our minds be as evolved as yours,
Let our work gain inspiration from your perfection.

To one who was far beyond the actor everyone knew, to the genius of a mind none could comprehend, to a co-seeker, to the golden heart that spread cheer all around, to the man I wish I too knew..may you shine as bright as those stars you loved!

Your family is now our family too! We will get you justice. We will always celebrate you in our hearts. We will fulfill our dreams and your incomplete ones too! That is a promise.

Lots of Love,
Lakshmi.