Dear Sushant,
2014, PK.
The first time I saw you. My first reaction was that you didn’t seem like a typical “hero”. And I was correct. You weren’t. You were an extraordinary real life hero. Even though I’ll be honest. It’s not how I saw you at the time. Though one thing of yours that stood out to me from the beginning was your smile. That kind smile. I didn’t think of anything much back then. I was just 9 years old. But who knew, that just about 3 years later, I’d be gushing over that same smile for years to come. Everything you said was so well calculated and well informed it blew my mind. You made me want to explore more, follow my dreams and always believe that I could do anything I set my mind to. While Shiv made me laugh relentlessly with his lame jokes, Mansoor’s adorable shy self had me in absolute awe. I still remember that night when I woke up late for hours just looking for a website to watch Kedarnath because I had missed it in the theatres. And then enthusiastically acting out the entire movie to my friends at school the next day. I don’t think I even need to say anything about MS Dhoni The Untold Story. You know just how awesome you were. The movie was a great experience for me as it had both of my idols in it! But I tend to change fandoms quite frequently and so I did. And I have never regretted something so much till date. I didn’t follow up on your life till Chichorre. But when I watched this movie, it hit me right where it hurt. It made me laugh and subsequently cry. It was one of the best movies I had watched. You always stood out. Did unconventional movies even if that meant higher risk of failure. I came home fully satisfied by the film. I loved chichorre for what it was. It was a masterpiece. A few months later, Dil Bechara came out. Watching it was so lovely and an absolute nightmare. The thought of it being the last tore me apart. Never before had I felt this much pain for losing someone I barely knew. But it hurts so bad. And it doesn’t seem to go away. And it might never. I don’t know whether this is regret. Regret for not reaching out and talking to you about the mysteries of this world and the cosmos when you were here with us, or just pure love. Pure love for that adorable smile, and that very kind and intelligent human. Or maybe it is both. I’ll never know. But one thing I do know is that I’ll follow in your footsteps, learn to live life in the present. I’ll never forget you. I’ll try my best to complete your list of dreams. And that I’ll never stop loving you, our photon in a double slit. Never.
You’ve taught me so much. Made me believe in myself. And for this, I will forever be grateful. Love you to Andromeda and beyond SSR.
Your admirer, ♥️
Megha
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